The pain of rejection
Nothing hurts the heart more than rejection. There is no more penetrating wound than being neglected by a loved one. Not even death breaks the heart as deeply as feeling set apart and abandoned. It’s devastating when someone close leaves. Rejection affects the image we have of ourselves, undermines our confidence and makes hope vanish.
And while all this happens, the memories of the loved one remain in all corners of the mind. They come back to memory again and again, sometimes in the form of a sigh, in others, like a scream, to remind us of the negative messages that say “nobody loves you, you are worthless”.
Do you feel like your heart is broken? Is your spirit devastated? There is no better remedy than knowing that God loves you unconditionally. He accepts us forever.
When the pain seems endless and his heart is very sensitive, continue to trust his life in the compassionate hands of the Lord. He will hold him with his heart full of love until he experiences complete healing, because,
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted; and he saves the contrite in spirit.” (Psalms 34:18)
“My mother is not interested in my life or my problems. She doesn’t spend time with me, she doesn’t show me love or affection. Why is she following me rejecting her?”
Sadly many parents do not know how to take care of their children. The lack of love from her mother shows that she herself has emotional deficiencies, her rejection of you shows the emptiness that she carries in her heart.
- Pray to the Lord to help you not take her behavior personally. Her lack of love has nothing to do with you.
- Acknowledge that her emptiness prevents you from meeting her heart’s need.
- Fully receive God’s unconditional love and focus on it. Although you have no power to make her mother express her love for you, God will give you all the love and acceptance you need, thus giving you the strength to overcome rejection.
The Bible provides special assurance…
“Even if my father and mother left me, yet Jehovah will pick me up.” (Psalms 27:10)
Obvious reasons for rejection
Some reasons why people feel rejected are very obvious. The loneliest times in your life are likely the result of experiencing ongoing rejection from:
- Abandonment
- Adoption
- Lockdown
- Child sexual abuse
- Lack of approval
- Divorce
- Domestic violence
- Excessive punishments
- Favoritism
- humiliation
- Infidelity
- Prejudice
- Violation
- Verbal abuse
“Upon you I was cast from before I was born; From my mother’s womb, you are my God.” (Psalms 22:10)
Hidden causes of rejection
Just as there are obvious reasons for feeling rejected, there are also others that remain hidden. However, this type of rejection is just as painful or more painful than the obvious rejection.
- Addictions
- Unfulfilled promises
- Comparisons
- Make exclusive groups
- Incurable illness
- Play with emotions
- Gender discrimination
- Disabilities
- Excessive control
- Excesses
- Conditional acceptance
“The LORD looked down from heaven; he saw all the sons of men; from his dwelling place he looked over all the inhabitants of the earth. He formed the heart of them all; he is attentive to all his works.” (Psalms 33:13,15)
Ending the cycle of rejection
Memorize and meditate on the following Bible passages.
Rejection. “Just because one person rejects me doesn’t mean everyone does. Jesus loves me, no matter what others decide to do” (John 15:9).
Low personal value. “Just because someone thinks I’m worthless doesn’t mean everyone thinks the same. God has already established my worth, and that is why he esteems me highly” (Luke 12:6,7).
Inferiority complex. “Just because someone rejected me doesn’t mean I should stop loving myself. God has always loved me and I can trust in his unconditional love” (1 John 4:16).
Negative behavior. “Just because someone turned me down doesn’t mean I can do the wrong thing. God has given me the strength to do good. Sin shall not have dominion over me” (Genesis 4:7).
key verse to memorize
“And Jehovah goes before you; he will be with you, he will not leave you nor forsake you; do not be afraid or intimidated.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
Key passage to read and meditate
You are accepted, even though you feel rejected
Admit the rejection of the past and the pain it has caused you (Lamentations 3:19,23).
Cry out to God, and receive his unconditional love and total acceptance (Isaiah 54:10).
He chooses to forgive those who have rejected him (Colossians 3:13).
Protect your mind with God’s word and allow it to form new thought patterns (Romans 12:2).
Take time to thank God for what he has learned through rejection. This can bring you closer to him (Psalm 119:71).
Encourage other people. This will help you increase your personal value (Hebrews 3:13).
Rest in the power of Christ that is present in his life (Philippians 4:13).
Observe and accept that rejection is a normal part of living in a fallen world (1 Peter 4:12,14).