The downward spiral of rebellion

Ever since actor James Dean appeared in a scene in an American movie with a cigarette in his hand and a black leather jacket, he has become the epitome of rebelliousness in the minds of many people. But even before that time, rebellion had always been conceived as very attractive, especially among the young. She’s supposed to be daring…Adventurous…Brave.

However, like most stereotypes, that idea is false. The end result of rebellion is darkness, confusion, and death. For parents or guardians who see young people spiraling downward toward that end every day, it is also a source of much pain and anxiety.

But there is hope, for God himself promised: “And I will cleanse them from all their wickedness with which they have sinned against me; and I will forgive all their sins with which they have sinned against me, and with which they have transgressed against me.” (Jeremiah 33:8)

Characteristics of the rebellion

  • insolence
  • defensive attitude
  • mistrust
  • contradiction
  • independence
  • greed
  • disbelief
  • continuous complaint
  • challenge
  • resents authority

“How can I end my cycle of rebellion?”

Coming in a broken spirit before God…get rid of willfulness…ask God, “Lord, I want to stop living in my own strength. I give you control of my life and my heart.

“The sacrifices of God are the broken spirit; You will not despise a contrite and humbled heart, O God.” (Psalms 51:17)

The cycle of rebellion

Capricious

“I do what I want because I am important.”

  • Independent living (oriented to the “me”)
  • Pursuit of pleasure (temporary values)

Calculating

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get it.”

  • Deceitful (lies, cheats, steals)
  • Manipulator (uses the blame tactic)

Condemnatory

“You don’t really care about me!”

  • Complaining (“You are too hard on me”)
  • Blames others (“It’s all your fault”)

Hard

“I don’t care who I hurt.”

  • Apathetic (towards loved ones)
  • He resists (God)

Derogatory

“I hate those who get in my way.”

  • Disrespectful (irreverent, disobedient, rude, his bedroom is always in a mess)
  • Breaks the rules (lives wildly in all kinds of excesses with sex, drugs, money, protests and hostility)

Controller

“I will not give up what I have.”

  • Possessive (uses power play because of his emotional insecurity)
  • Abusive (verbally, emotionally, physically)

“Because this people is rebellious, lying children, children who did not want to hear the law of the Lord.” (Isaiah 30:9)

Characteristics of parents with rebellious children

“If Jehovah did not help me, my soul would soon dwell in silence when I said: My foot slips, your mercy, O Jehovah, sustained me. In the multitude of my thoughts within me, your consolations gladdened my soul. (Psalms 94:17,19)

They feel rejected

  • They live disappointed. Longing for what could have been and wasn’t.
  • They become emotionally indifferent to things that previously brought them joy.
  • They criticize themselves severely and feel a lot of false guilt.
  • They envy others who have good interpersonal relationships with their children.
  • They carry wounds in the heart that never stop hurting.
  • They fear constant rejection, disapproval, and disrespect.
  • Embarrassed. They feel humiliated and disgraced.
  • Desperate, they have lost confidence and hope.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted; and he saves the contrite in spirit.” (Psalms 34:18)

External causes of rebellion

Legalistic homes where one does not live according to grace

  • R + N – R = R + R

Rules plus Rules minus Relationships equals Resentment and Rebellion.

Permissive homes where discipline is not applied.

Abusive homes where there is sexual abuse or drug addiction.

Key verses to memorize

help for the rebel

“Remember not the sins of my youth, and my rebellions; according to your mercy remember me, for your goodness, O Jehovah.” (Psalms 25:7)

Hope for those who have been hurt by rebellion

“My soul, only rest in God, because of him is my hope. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my refuge, I will not slip. In God is my salvation and my glory; in God is my strong rock, and my refuge.” (Psalms 62:5,7)

Key passage to read and meditate

Luke 15:11,32

What to do and what not to do to solve the rebellion

  • Do not excuse or condone rebellious behavior.

Yes… confront the rebel by appealing to the rebel’s conscience. (James 5:19,20)

  • Don’t threaten rejection.

Yes… Offer unconditional love and acceptance. (1 Corinthians chapter 13)

  • Don’t bargain for proper conduct.

Yes… Insist on a system of accountability with consequences. (Hebrews 4:13)

Yes… Determine what are the important battles you are going to fight and stand firm in those areas. (Matthew 23:24)

  • Do not stop giving words of encouragement.

Yes… Establish communication at the feeling level. (Proverbs 20:5)

  • Don’t shame the rebel.

Yes… Open his heart and know his own motivations. (Jeremiah 17:9)