Deep transformation

“It is not easy to recover from the patterns acquired in a dysfunctional family. A transformation is required at the deepest level…

But God promises us to actively intervene in that transformation.”

—Dale and Juanita Ryan

“And the Lord passed by before him and proclaimed, The Lord! Jehovah! strong, merciful and pious; slow to anger, and great in mercy and truth; that he keeps mercy for thousands, that he pardons iniquity, rebellion, and sin, and that he will by no means hold the wicked innocent; that he visits the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the children’s children, even to the third and fourth generation.”

(Exodus 34:6,7)

“ I grew up in a very confused family and now I am repeating many of the patterns of my past. What should I do?”

Identify which patterns you need to change, then focus on various actions you need to take to move toward recovery and emotional health.

Tell God and those closest to you that you want to let go of unhealthy, childish patterns and ask them to help you by monitoring your progress.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I judged as a child; but when I was already a man, I left what was childish”.

(1 Corinthians 13:11)

Dysfunctional families breed dysfunctional families.

The chaotic family (Proverbs 28:2)

  • Both the home and individuals are poorly organized.
  • The family is plagued with problems.
  • Parents are inconsistent and indecisive.
  • The children are emotionally abandoned.

The controlling family (Ephesians 6:4)

  • It is rigidly structured.
  • Communication is authoritarian and dictatorial.
  • Parents tend to judge and criticize too much.
  • Children are focused on accomplishing tasks; its value depends on its productivity.

The permissive family (Proverbs 13:24)

  • Lacks parental authority.
  • Overprotects feelings.
  • Avoid disagreements.
  • Children are the center of attention.

The codependent family (Deuteronomy 6:5)

  • There is extreme conformity.
  • There is no self-address.
  • Parents are excessively possessive.
  • Children are repressed.

“Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. As Christ forgave you, so do you.”

(Colossians 3:13)

Checklist of unresolved conflicts from your past

Are you afraid of criticism?

Do you help others even if it is to your detriment?

Do you constantly seek approval?

Do you hide your emotions?

Do you feel you must rescue others?

Do you confuse pity with love?

Do you realize that you are easily manipulated?

Do you feel resentment towards a family member?

Do you avoid taking responsibility for your actions?

Do you fear abandonment?

key verse to memorize

“Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him: If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

(John 8:31,32)

Key passage to read and meditate

Genesis chapters 37, 39, 41, 42, 50

Cultivate your family’s future

“Brethren, I myself do not claim to have already reached it; but one thing I do: certainly forgetting what is behind, and extending myself to what is ahead”.

(Philippians 3:13)

leave the past behind